Shadows
by redex
Summary: KakaShika. Two paths, mirrors of shadows. [Completed!]
1. I

GASP! Is Red writing a _chaptered fic_?

Yes, yes I am. Crackpairing and all. This is to prove that crackpairings can exist... if you do them the right way.

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**Shadows**

_by_

**Redex**

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They first crossed paths when walking down to practice, mutually late one day. Kakashi had decided to infuriate his students while openly taking the longest route possible from his apartment to the training field. Shikamaru had been taking a last-minute nap on a hill nearby.

They walked in silence, Kakashi's nose buried in a battered copy of Icha Icha Paradise and Shikamaru's hands in his pockets.

"What is ANBU really like?" Shikamaru asked quietly. "I asked Asuma-sensei but he didn't want to talk about it."

Kakashi still had his book up, but wasn't reading. His mind drifted.

"It's nothing to be proud of..." He felt out his words carefully. "Are you thinking of joining?"

His eyebrows rose. Shikamaru was young and smart. Not quite smart enough to make up for the youth, maybe.

"I've been asked. I'd be automatically raised to Jounnin level, which is just useless, do mostly strategic stuff, but I'd have to take missions too."

Shikamaru let out a long sigh.

"It sounds like it would be very very troublesome."

Kakashi eyed the black-haired chuunin, mentally thinking him over.

"If it doesn't kill you outright, it will kill everyone you even remotely think you're close to, and then it'll kill your sanity," he said cheerfully. "Not to mention your sleep will be ruined for a long time afterwards."

Shikamaru looked up the sky between the branches.

"The real question, I guess, is if the village really needs me to do this. Because if it was just about me... there is no real reason for me to take it."

Kakashi admired the boy's attitude. He would make a good sensei one day, should he survive that long.

"ANBU is constant war. There is no war in Konoha right now."

They reached the fork in the path where it split towards the two training grounds.

"Thank you for your words, Kakashi-sensei."

Shikamaru nodded to his superior before continuing down his path, vest and black clothing disappearing effectively into the shadows of the trees. Kakashi watched him go before glancing at the sun's position and, deeming himself sufficiently late, continued on.

"You're LATE!"

"I was waylaid by a wayward shadow who needed directions back to the Mist Country, and since it was blind I had to-"

"LIAR!"

Kakashi smiled at them, his team, his kids, and remembered his own sensei. Underneath the underneath...

He decided he needed some time off this morning from their usual roughhousing.

"Today we are going to study stealth," he started and summoned a handful of nin dogs. "So!" he chirped cheerfully. "Run!"

---

A few days later Kakashi was sitting in Ichiraku Ramen with his team when he felt a shadow on his back. When he turned, Shikamaru was looking at him, seemingly casual, but unerringly serious beneath his casual exterior.

"I refused. They were upset," he said simply, eyes locking on Kakashi's visible one.

And then he was gone, going to sit in the corner with the rest of the kids, and Kakashi turned back to the counter as if nothing had happened. He felt strangely relieved. But Asuma's heavy, cigarette-stained hand clapped down on his shoulder soon after.

"Did you hear about Shikamaru-kun?" Asuma said after ordering and starting to wolf down his bowl of ramen.

Kakashi "mmhmm"-ed around his own mouthful. He didn't mention that it had been Shikamaru who had told him.

"Turning down an offer to ANBU has some important people pissed off at him," Asuma grunted. "I can't say whether he made the right choice or not but... well, he's still a kid, even if he's smart enough not to be."

"Well, sometimes age is relative," Kakashi mused, setting down his chopsticks.

"But you wouldn't want anyone else doing what you did, would you?"

Asuma was eyeing him shrewdly.

"Let's go get a drink." Kakashi got up from the counter and started heading through the crowded stand to the door.

"Aren't you going to pay for this?" Asuma called after him, slapping down a few notes onto the table.

"The kids can handle it. It will be a learning opportunity."

Asuma chuckled and followed him out.

"Drinks it is."

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I wasn't sure about the name of the Ramen stand that is often mentioned, and I can't be bothered to change it, so whatever. I hope my charectorization is on, because when it comes to these two, it is even more important than usual. 

Review me.


	2. II

Oh look, another chapter. I knew you were all thinking there wouldn't be one, but yes, yes there is. Go figure. We'll see if I can keep this up.

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It was sunny out, but there were thunderclouds in the distance, rumbling in forewarning over the forests of the hidden leaf.

Shikamaru didn't want it to rain. He didn't want to go inside. He wasn't exactly having fun, but it was nice, sitting outside and watching the cloud-shadows on the ground. They didn't come out to play that often, so he had to be here for them when they did.

A shadow drifted over his hand, but it wasn't a cloud. He forced his eyes to focus on the much closer person and... nin-dog?

"Kakashi-sensei," he acknowledged as the ninja sat down heavily beside him, feigning exhaustion.

"I have been assigned a mission for tomorrow, and certain people er... encouraged me to bring you along."

Shikamaru snorted, not for one second questioning why.

They just breathed in the tension for a while, Kakashi making a cheerful comment on the beauty of the mountainous clouds in the distance.

"So troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed, and Kakashi correctly interpreted it as acquiescence.

"We're to monitor a group of traders heading for the hidden mist. It sounds like a stupid B level job, buuut... there are thoughts that the marauders on that road are actually Mist-nin. And if they are, well, that's not very nice of them at all."

The dog was running around in circles, chasing butterflies in the grassy field. They watched it, two lazy bums on the top of a hill, until Shikamaru heard his mother's voice yelling in between the growing rumbles of thunder.

"Shikamaruifyoudon'tcomedownhererightnowI'mthrowingoutyoursupper!"

He wondered if they had a school especially for non-ninja mothers to teach them how to nag...

Despite his grumblings he stood up and brushed his pants off, noting a few grass stains that he'd be yelled at for soon enough.

He paused, considering, before starting down the path.

"Do you want to come over for supper or something? My mum probably won't mind..."

Kakashi smiled under his mask and hoisted himself up with a ninja's innate grace and whistled to his dog.

"As long as I'm not going to be an intrusion..."

He murmured the polite words, but still followed Shikamaru down the hill towards his house, energetic dog bounding along behind.

"I hope your mother likes dogs..."

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Mrr. Hate the ending. Next chapter coming soon, if at all. ;) 

Review me.


	3. III

Hmm. Another chapter? Yes. Thanks Fairady, Yianne-21, and of course Porti-chan for reviewing. I appreciate it.

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**III**

His hand was shaking, even as he clenched it over and over again.

He let it hit a few branches as they passed; the dull pain a small distraction from the other one that filled his head. The taste of bile was still in his mouth.

Kakashi was sending him worried glances as they ran through the trees towards home.

Kakashi, who had just...

He had trapped them with his kagemane no jujitsu. Bound by their shadows. He remembered the odd sound of his voice as he whispered "Go", and how silent Kakashi was when he went. No need for chirruping birds - just a kunai. Kakashi had arranged them to look like they had killed each other, not asking Shikamaru to help.

His hands were still shaking.

"That was what it would have been like," Kakashi said, eyes focused on getting home. "Never knowing why, just who and where and how. You get used to it. That's the scary part. And then you get over it."

Shikamaru made an absent gesture to smooth his hair back, laughing shakily.

"Welcome to the real world, eh?"

Kakashi didn't have any soothing words to say and Shikamaru wasn't sure he could hear them yet. He was dropped off at his house and Kakashi said a few murmured words to his father. He only heard an apology: "He probably should have gone out with you first."

His mother was in bed. He went straight into the shower and stood under the bitingly hard stream of water, closing his eyes and trying to forget.

His father caught him in a rough hug before he managed to lock himself into his room.

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Comments? 


	4. IV

Yup, mass-posting. That means you're not allowed to complain about the shortness of chapters.

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**IV**

It was Something To Do.

Everyone Shikamaru had constantly thought of as _young_ were becoming hardened, calloused. Lee and Sakura could sit over a cup of tea and talk about the easiest way to shatter bone, Hinata kept fighting through a few broken ribs and Kiba learnt to tell the different characteristics of blood via taste and smell.

And with this sudden growing-up that everyone was doing, came a more gradual loss of infinity. Chouji no longer sat with Shikamaru and stared at the sky, sharing food with Ino, upwind from Asuma-sensei's cigarettes. Ino was off training young kunoichi, Chouji was working full-time in his family's restaurant/lab. Asuma, set free from his charges as a full-time sensei, was off killing people like all the other jounin. Like Shikamaru.

So, when Shikamaru didn't have a mission to do, or prepare for, or recover from, nor a message to carry, or memorize, or dictate, he sat on the hill between Kakashi's house and his own, and watched the sky.

It was Something To Do.

Sometimes Kakashi showed up and they talked, or just sat. Sometimes Kakashi didn't show up for weeks at a time, and Shikamaru heard from Naruto, when _he_ wasn't out on a mission with Kakashi, that he was being enlisted to do very high-class missions directly from the Hokage herself. Naruto would always act annoyed and irritable that his "super-pervert lazy-sensei" was taking such high-up missions all by himself, but Shikamaru could see the looks of worry that slipped behind his eyes, an unwelcome knowledge of what these missions betokened.

On one night that Kakashi showed up after a long sojourn, his hitake headband was replaced by a swath of white bandages.

Shikamaru had yet to see the famed sharigan eye of Kakashi the copy-nin, but that didn't stop him knowing it was there. Rumors of the story behind it drifted around the village from time to allay boredom and warn children, as if Kakashi was some sort of bogey-man who could come to eat you whole if you didn't grow up proper.

"I guess I don't get out enough," Kakashi said in an awkward confirmation of a fact he knew Shikamaru would absorb.

"I guess the rumors are true then," Shikamaru said, not knowing whether there _were_ rumors. It softened the fact that he knew.

"Well, I guess that depends on what rumors you are listening to," Kakashi said half-jokingly.

"You are taking classified missions from the Hokage again?"

"Aa."

Kakashi didn't say any more. It was a bit of a betrayal to them both. The ANBU alone were directly responsible for the Hokage. Other missions were given out impartially according to ability. ANBU missions were never filed or kept on record. Kakashi had been the one who had said that ANBU made you inhuman.

"Ah well, if you think it's necessary..."

The question hovered in the air, both questioning and accepting Kakashi's decision. The famed ninja relaxed and scratched his scar under the bandages absent-mindedly, watching lights flicker down the little grassy hill in the village.

When the moon came up and Shikamaru decided to go to bed, Kakashi handed him a small, rectangular, paper-wrapped packet.

"For the nights I'm not here," he said with a cheerful smile, waving Shikamaru on his way home.

Shikamaru put the packet in his vest and didn't have the time to open it until a few days later, when sitting on the roof of some dignitary's office, waiting for a response to the scroll he had just dropped off.

A crisp new copy of Icha Icha Paradise, volume one, signed by the author himself, unmarked except for a few inkblots on a few corners, marking the important bits.

_From Kakashi, to speed you on your way. Read carefully._

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Critisize. Think.


	5. V

In Which the Manditory Dream Sequence Occurs.

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**V**

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand for the millionth time, as if trying to wipe the purple burses under his eyes away. He mentally urged his eyes to focus on the black, wavering characters on the scroll in front of him, blinking furiously.

Another scroll thunked onto his table and he groaned, but when he looked up he was rewarded by a smile from one of Konoha's most infamous ninjas.

If Kakashi was there to hand in a mission report, then it was definitely late.

"Aa. Good evening, Kakashi-sensei. Welcome home," Shikamaru mumbled, turning back to his paper, even though he would have liked nothing better than to sit down and talk for a while.

"You look exhausted," Kakashi said, cheerful tone belaying the undercurrent of concern he held for his younger friend.

"Haven't been sleeping well... It's really annoying," Shikamaru grunted, scribbling an almost-illegible _Nara Shikamaru_ at the bottom of the page and in the books.

"I see."

Kakashi pulled up a chair to the large, overlaiden desk as Shikamaru pulled Kakashi's mission report towards him.

"Why don't you just go home and leave this until tomorrow?" Kakashi asked, fingers plucking at the top of the scroll.

Shikamaru unfurled it and started reading, rubbing his eyes furiously. At this rate his mother would hunt him down and force him to stay home for a few days to rest, and then wouldn't that be a bothersome thing to explain...

"If I leave it until tomorrow it will just be one more thing. I might as well do it while I'm up," Shikamaru steadily explained as if he had said it a million times before, the knowledge that the next day he didn't have a mission keeping him going.

"I'll stay to keep you company then," Kakashi said cheerfully, leaning his head on his hand to watch Shikamaru work.

"You're probably tired from your mission, go home and get some rest."

Shikamaru mumbled the polite words, but didn't object further when Kakashi didn't move.

When Shikamaru scribbled his signature to countersign Kakashi's mission report it was even more illegible than usual, but he rolled it back up, dropped it into the pile waiting in the bin beside his desk and got up quickly.

Kakashi followed his move and replaced the chair in the now-empty sign-in office.

Shikamaru didn't dare look at the clock.

He didn't notice that Kakashi was walking him to his apartment until he reached the door and started fumbling for his keys and realized that the sensei was still there.

When he finally got the door open, he stood there tiredly and debated in his head the merits of inviting Kakashi in. Fortunately for him, Kakashi saw the even more pronounced slump in Shikamaru's shoulders, the heavy blinks of his eyes and the overall dazed look he held about him and just handed him a package.

"Jiraiya gave it to me. Brand new volume of Icha Icha Paradise. Don't stay up too late."

And with that and a wave, he poofed off into the night, leaving the scent of dog and konoha dirt in the air.

Shikamaru slipped into his night-black apartment and didn't bother turning on the lights. Naras knew how to see shadows, even half-dead. He kicked his sandals into a corner, dropped the book onto a table and fell into bed, asleep the moment he was horizontal.

He dreamt of being a ghost, floating around the city, insubstantial. Only those with special eyes could see him. Chouji, Ino, Asuma, and Naruto all saw him and waved, but kept on with their lives and wouldn't stop to sit with him. The ache of watching them cut through him like a knife, and then he realized he was being cut in half. Half a ghost here, half a ghost there, and a chasm in between. He didn't want to look at it, so he didn't, but it didn't remove the tearing feeling of being pulled apart.

But when the tear stopped at his throat, Kakashi showed up and looked at him, and clapped his hands to the side of Shikamaru's hips and smooshed him back together, smiling. Shikamaru felt like crying and he didn't know why.

He awoke in the dark, irritable that he had just wasted sleep on a dream, but knowing that he would have to remember his dream later, to think about. To figure out what his subconscious was thinking about. He fought the sheets over his still-clothed body, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

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No one will hurt you for critisizing. 


	6. VI

Yes, rewritten, edited and all the rest. I didn't like the last one. I like this one more. Deal with it if you don't agree, you should have c/ped it while you had the chance.

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**VI**

He wasn't in the mood for a celebration. He was bone-weary, but not quite tired enough to sleep. Not that he would have been able to with the fireworks going off overhead. He tested his muscles, feeling out his exaustion, mesuring with an active ninja's accuracy how much more he could take. Probably only one more mission, and even then he would be pushing it.

But it was midsummer's eve, and the full moon was out, and the entire villiage was on holiday to celebrate, including him. Including Kakashi, which was surprising, but not unwelcome.

Somewhere a bell was tolling, signalling the year's end.

Shikamaru regretted for a moment sending off Chouji to talk to a girl and letting Ino go off to make out with another guy, but it wasn't that important. He and Kakashi sat on Ino's mother's blanket on their grassy hill, now taken over by the festivities. No one seemed to notice that it was iShikamaru's/i hill, and didn't see fit to tell him that it would be ambushed for this festival of lights, so when he had come up for his usual moon-gazing, thermos of hot tea present, he had been a little surprised.

They were sitting on the edge of the larger group, people-watching, waiting to toast the new year. Only a few seconds now.

"How the years go by," Kakashi said quietly, below the laughter and cheering of the crowd.

"One at a time," Shikamaru finished, a small, wry smile twisting his lips. It was from the opening of volume six, Icha Icha Paradise.

One of Kakashi's hands was holding him up, beside Shikamaru on the blanket. The other was pulling down his mask and lifting up his headband.

A now-familiar red and black swirl appeared in the night, as well as the finish of a scar better not mentioned.

"So, Shikamaru, who are you planning on kissing for luck in this new year," Kakashi said, seemingly off-hand, despite the mischivious twinkling in his blue eye.

"No one. I don't believe in luck."

He took a sip of tea to disguise his discomfort at the well-placed prod at his bachelorhood.

"Well, it certainly doesn't hurt."

Said shadow-nin nearly choked on his tea when the second-final bell wrang and hurriedly swollowed. Kakashi wouldn't dare... But then, he would. Shikamaru really didn't know why he was friends with such a perverted old man...

And then he was being kissed. Gently, quickly on the lips, and Shikamaru somehow knew that Kakashi was smiling as he did it. He subtlely licked his lips afterwards, when Kakashi looked up to the final, flowery explosion in the sky, still smiling in a melencholy sort of way. It was a different taste, one he wished he could put away to experience later and rewind and replay.

And then he realized he was acting like a stupid girl, so he laughed at one of Kakashi's jokes, got up off the blanket, and walked with Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai to a house party in the villiage.

He didn't particularly want to think about his feelings right about now, and he definitely didn't want to get drunk and do something he'd regret later, so he found a happy medium, somewhere in the cups of sake.

He could remember, later, Kakashi holding his drink well, but nevertheless making subtle moves on Shikamaru, half joking and half serious, and Shikamaru let him go, trying to ignore the serious half. He could remember Asuma dragging him to the side in order to ask for help in getting a decidedly drunk Kurenai to his apartement. He didn't remember what he answered, but it must have worked because the next morning there was no sign of either of them.

But Kakashi seemed much better at this sort of thing, and when Shikamaru really couldn't summon up the energy to tell Kakashi to fuck off, he walked him home, ignoring the stumbling/groping act that Kakashi was putting on. Shikamaru knew he wasn't drunk, and he ididn't want to think about it/i.

But when he got Kakashi home and stepped inside his apartement, something happened and his back was against the wall and Kakashi's mouth was so damn hot and ihe was a ninja/i he wasn't supposed to be this easily trapped, so he slipped away, light as a shadow, and when he shut the door behind him he tried to ignore the sound that Kakashi had made when he pulled away.

He tried to ignore the thumping of his heart as he walked back home, walking just a little faster than normal to allow for the heat rushing through his body.

He hadn't wanted that to happened, did he?

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Thank you still goes out to Fairady, kakashidiot, vanyelashke89, and Yianne-21 for chapter five reviews. The other chapter six reviewers, thank you for your continuing support Fairady (problem erased), Rinpu (the angst'll show up again later, I promise :P), amwong (probably not, since I've never seen much in the pairing, but maybe some NejiHina eventually?), Eveilae (pleaaase continue your intelligent and long reviews. Having a fan who can communicate is a huge plus.). And, of course, thank you Porti dear for helping me figure out what the hell I was doing wrong. Let loose your debator on my fics more often, na? 

And now, you all should review again while I try and wrangle chapter seven into being!


	7. VII

This is the fifth time I've written this chapter, but the first one I've posted, so no, you haven't missed anything. I'm not sure I like it, but it's the best one of the bunch.

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**VII**

It was the perfect day.

There were just enough clouds in the sky, there was a light breeze in the air, and Shikamaru was on the second of three free days.

Kakashi must have known this when he sent a nin-dog to Shikamaru's window this morning, waking him up with a wet nose in the face. Shikamaru concidered ignoring the dog right up untill he looked out the window. With a sky like that, he couldn't say no to anyone, even if Orochimaru were to come down to the city gates and ask to discuss Konoha's most secret documents over a cup of tea.

Hit by a sudden sense of superstition, (it couldn't hurt) he crossed that last one off the mental list and then got up from where he had been staring at the ceiling for a few minutes and got dressed under the watchful (and probably perverted) eye of Kakashi's dog.

Grabbing a book off of the nightstand and hollaring down to his mother that he was going out, he gave the mongrel a pat on the head and said, "Okay, pup, let's go find your master."

Shikamaru looked a little with envy at the boundless energy the dog showed, running forward a few steps and then trotting back a few more, all the while leading him towards the forest of death. But when they arrived at the heavily chained and barred gates, the dog didn't go inside, he just trotted along the fence. Eventually the ground under the path rose and Shikamaru caught on to how Kakashi was expecting to placate him: a new sky-watching hill.

When they got to the top, Shikamaru could grudgingly see how it could be expected to work: trees hanging over the clover-dotted field that would provide ample shade in the afternoon and a sharper embankment on the other side to allowing for easy viewing of the city.

He told himself he wasn't convinced yet, even though he knew he already was. And there was Kakashi himself, who had been avoiding him awkwardly ever since that midsummer, rubbing the stomach of the dog that had lead Shikamaru to him.

"Aah, Shikamaru-kun, Beatle says you didn't throw any sticks for him. What a spoilsport."

Shikamaru blinked and noticed two things: the dog's name was Beatle and Kakashi had started calling him Shikamaru-kun again.

Kakashi was maybe doing too good a job of making up for those kisses.

He sat down on the springy grass and breathed in the beautiful, warm summer air.

"You're forgiven, Kakashi," Shikamaru sighed, laying back and staring up absently into the blue vault ahead of him. It was too nice a day to argue, and Shikamaru figured that this sucking up would only continue to ruin it by association to what it was supposed to correct.

He could see Kakashi's foot out of the corner of his eye.

"Shikamaru, I know you don't like having to deal with lies, so I won't lie to you."

Shikamaru mentally nodded at this obviously preprepaired speach, but let him continue talking.

"You remind me of me when I was younger," Kakashi sighed. "Except less broken. That's why I didn't want you to go into ANBU. That's why... Well, that's probably where these feelings came from."

Shikamaru folded his arms under his head in a silent signal: I'm not going to hurt you, so keep talking.

He was tired of dodging around when in public places, of seeing Kakashi walk into a room and immidiately turn away from him, of the times when he's caught himself daydreaming about those kisses and not being able to say why, of his friends teasing him that he's been depressed lately and had he broken up with his girlfriend?

"I don't know how to do this whole... _wooing_ thing. I'm used to just fucking someone and dissapearing in the morning, asshole that I am."

The dog settled around Kakashi's ankles and bumped into Shikamaru's side, obscuring his sole view of Kakashi, which irritated him more than it should on a normal scale.

"So, um, Shikamaru, do you want to go out to dinner or something tonight?"

Shikamaru sat up and looked at Kakashi for a long time.

He was smiling carefully under that gaze, unable to guess what was running through that black-haired head.

"You idiot," Shikamaru sighed finally, turning his gaze to look out over the villiage that he had sworn to protect. "I was never mad at you."

Kakashi flushed, and Shikamaru felt it rather than saw it.

"Ah, well... Supper then?"

Shikamaru laughed and looked at a sheepish Kakashi. He felt the knot in his stomach relax, knowing that they were standing steady again.

The rest of the day was spent on the recently discovered diamond-in-the-rough hill, watching the clouds and gossuping and feeling each other out.

At one point of comfortable silence, Shikamaru let one hand reach down and rest on the soft grass beside Kakashi's, just brushing the fabric of his glove.

Kakashi would know it was intentional. It was the thing he liked most about him, that ability to see a shadow as a thing and not just a reflection of another thing. The underneath under the underneath, or whatever it was he called it during his twisted training sessions.

"I'm glad I'm not your student," Shikamaru mused out loud.

"Oh yeah?"

There is only the mildest of teasing challenges in Kakashi's tone. They have come to know how to wait for each other to sort out their thoughts, place them carefully, testing each word before saying it.

Most people talked much too quickly, Shikamaru found. Another thing to like Kakashi for, and filed it away.

"I'm sure they're the strongest team in the villiage, but you really are quite hard on them."

"Well, you know how that works," Kakashi said quietly, tracing a cloud's outline with his finger.

"Maybe I just don't want to be first. Maybe I'm fine with not being remarkable, with just doing what I'm supposed to do and nothing more, nothing less."

They turned to look at each other, and Kakashi was smiling. There was another reason: Shikamaru loved that smile, when it was true, like now.

"That's worth something too."

They turned to look back at the sky.

"Who's going to get married and have the children while crazy genious idiots like me go out fighting?"

Shikamaru frowned and narrowed his eyes at the touch of bitterness in Kakashi's voice. Kakashi shouldn't think like that.

"Don't be stupid," he sighed, not sure what to say to change this misconception. "You're still young. You're not... ibroken/i."

"Very broken," Kakashi corrected. "Shattered to bits. A mess of pieces glued together but not quite as good as before."

Shikamaru could tell that Kakashi had dwelled on this for a long time before now.

"You have people who love you," Shikamaru said, picking at his teeth. "And a villiage, and a job. You're alive. What more could you want?"

Shikamaru felt a jerk in his stomach as soon as he said it. What a stupid, stupid lapse in concentration, it would be impossible for Kakashi to mistake...

"I think you already know that," Kakashi said quietly and slowly, shifting uncomfortably on the cool grass.

They were saved from a long, awkward silence by the sudden arrival of one of the hokage's aids.

"Kakashi-san, the Gondaime wishes to speak with you."

Kakashi hauled himself to his feet with a false weariness and Shikamaru followed to see him off.

"Tell Hokage-sama that I'm coming," Kakashi said to Hagane and he nodded and dissapeared with a jounin's efficiency. He then turned to Shikamaru and waved a hand to wave goodbye, smiling cheerfully.

Shikamaru bit the inside of his mouth, and Kakashi saw that face that he always made when he was fighting with himself.

Musing on how cute it was distracted him enough that he didn't notice Shikamaru's hand come out of his pocket and grab the front of his vest, but when he did notice it, he didn't stop it. Shikamaru leant forwards a bit and kissed him on the cheek quickly.

"Supper," Shikamaru confirmed, putting his hand back in his pockets with a calm that didn't match his age. "Meet me outside my apartment at six, if you can."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Kakashi grinned, cast one more appraising glance on this quiet, sulky, very attractive young man before finally completing his wave and disspearing into the afternoon sun.

Shikamaru let out a long sigh and stared into the distance, thinking about what he had got himself into.

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Critical comments are appreciated very much. 


	8. IIX

Hummm... I am apprehensive about this chapter. Forgive me in advance. bowbow (Oh, and here's where the smutty angst comes back ;))

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**IIX**

Their mouths met and parted, as did tounges and hands and bodies.

Kakashi had a certain look that he got when he just wanted to get Shikamaru into somewhere dark so he could semi-undress him and take hold of his mouth. Shikamaru liked teasing him, sometimes, making him wait so that when that moment did come it was even sweeter.

Shikamaru loved seeing Kakashi's face naked, just for him, and Kakashi would be smiling when Shikamaru opened the gates by pulling that fabric off of his face. Shikamaru knew that Kakashi would never make the first move, other than hinting, and knew that there were problems that Kakashi hadn't even brought up yet, but he was content to wait.

Kakashi could tell that Shikamaru's mind wandered sometimes when they were kissing, but when it did, he stopped and Shikamaru would shake his mind free of whatever it was and smile a little and drag him closer again. Sometimes, though, Shikamaru would stop and back away and go home, grudgingly shrugging his shoulders on behalf of whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.

Kakashi had the urge sometimes to follow Shikamaru into his apartment and press for imore/i, but he always shook himself out of these desires and settled for a warm shower instead. He already felt like he was pressuring the younger chuunin into it.

Shikamaru knew about this insecurity of Kakashi's, and did his subtle best to convince Kakashi otherwise.

"Uhn..." Shikamaru's chin pointed upwards as Kakashi's lips trailed down his neck, making him flush in the dark. "Kashi..."

"Hmn?"

Kakashi's teeth grazed his collarbone and he spoke as if there was nothing happening at all. "Stay."

Kakashi slowed and only placed soft kisses along Shikamaru's neck as he straightened to look down on Shikamaru, taller by only a few inches. He had Shikamaru pressed up against his own apartment door. Shikamaru had gotten out his keys to open the lock and Kakashi couldn't stand the sight of him leaving.

The keys were still dangling from his hand and Shikamaru rested it on the doorhandle.

He saw the complicated fight in his superior's eyes, the dance between lust and love and that unknown reluctance. He carefully, slowly turned his back to him and fitted the key into the lock, twisting it open.

He looked over his shoulder and Kakashi was giving him the most pitiful look...

So Shikamaru took the gloved hand and pulled it inside, giving him more than permission. Inviting him. Kakashi shook himself like a dog that has been rudely awoken.

"Shika, I'd love to stay, but -"

"No excuses. I know your schedual, you know mine, and I'm perfectly of age. I can do what I want with whomever I want."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and smirked, challenging. His vest was already unzipped, a few hairs were falling out of his ponytail and he was still holding Kakashi's hand out in front of him, teasing.

Kakashi slumped a little and let go of the hand, burying it in his pocket where he fingered a sharp kunai, feeling it's razor edge press against his calloused skin.

"I can't, Shikamaru. You don't understand."

"If I don't, it's your fault."

The hand that had been abandoned tugged the elastic out of smooth black hair and massaged a tired head.

Kakashi stared. He had never seen Shikamaru's hair down...

"Just stay for tonight. We don't have to do anything."

There was a note of desperateness in Shikamaru's voice as he watched Kakashi fight his inner struggle. When there was a long note of silence, he walked around him and closed the door.

The click of the heavy lock falling into place awoke Kakashi and he seemed more resolute.

Shikamaru saw this and resolved to be as casual as he could, as if he wasn't all the rest of the time. Kakashi was walking on pins and needles, and he didn't want to scare him off. This relationship, though odd and questionable in nature, had become something to him and he didn't want to loose it to Kakashi's old demons.

"Do you want to have the shower first?" he asked, dropping his vest on a chair and leading the way into the tiny bathroom.

"Ah..."

"Alone," Shikamaru amended hastily, going out the door. "Of course."

Kakashi smiled, a warm, gratifying thing that made Shikamaru's stomach flip in interesting ways and the rest of his body relax. He had gotten one thing right at least.

"Thanks. I'll be out in a few minutes."

The door shut and Shikamaru rubbed his face as soon as it did, massaging aching pressure points under his eyes and at his temples. Everything was just so bloody troublesome...

When Kakashi came out in a towel, Shikamaru tried desperately not to stare, but Kakashi seemd to be in a better mood than he had been when he had gotten in, and wiggled his hips a little just to catch Shikamaru's eye.

When Shikamaru was in and out of the shower again, after giving himself a pep-talk on abstenance and trying to drown himself for a few unfruitful minutes, Kakashi was wearing a pair of Shikamaru's drawstring pants and looking through his bookshelf.

Shikamaru dug out a pair of his own and somehow got into them without dropping his towel to reveal anything that Kakashi hadn't already seen yet.

The theory of getting Kakashi into bed was a lot easier than the practice.

Kakashi was being easier now, kissing Shikamaru and crawling under the sheets first. He had carefully hidden the strife of earlier and Shikamaru wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not, so he just crawled in as well.

They touched hesitantly, finding a medium comfortable enough to sleep in. Shikamaru rested his forehead against Kakashi's and sleepily watched the two mismatched eyes, wondering what secrets they hid. Kakashi's hand was cupping one of Shikamaru's, and that's where those eyes were focused, absently, watching how their skin met and pressed together.

They did fall asleep eventually, although it was very late before either of them were tired enough to get over their discomfort.

Shikamaru concidered it a mild victory. He hadn't made Kakashi spill all his reluctancies so he could smooth them out, but he had opened the door.

Kakashi moved in informally soon after.

* * *

Okay, first off for the reviewers... I didn't write the date. Why? Because it is irrellivant. :P The date would have been tedious and tiresome to write, nothing would have happened except for that which you can assume happened by this chapter. I hope you don't hate me. Zenna, Sabriel, Yianne-21, thank you for your reviews. 

Eveilae, in my mind Kakashi is way to impatient to wait a year, and I am too lazy to change the chapter, so I am letting you assume around a month has gone by. Also, you will notice that the weather is nice. And the supper thing... Yes, it really shouldn't have taken that long. But I was insinuating that Kakashi mentioned it, they moved on to another subject, sat around untill later that afternoon, Kakashi gets called away, Shikamaru says yes. I hope that clears things up, even if they didn't make sense initially. wince

And yes. The tags.

Review? Please?


	9. IX

'nother chapter. This one is all-out smut, so I'm sure all my usual fans will have lots of fun. ;) Someone at the crackpairing forum on LJ found an excelent fanart of this pairing, the only one I've ever found, http/img. Smut is good, and I have lots!

* * *

**IX**

It was a bit scary, this feeling. This loss of control, with a heavy body pressing against him. But, he supposed in a vague sort of way, that it was half of what made it feel so good.

He moaned deep in his throat as Kakashi's fingers left his puckered entrance and heard a chuckle in reply.

"Aaah, Shika, you are so needy in there..."

"Shut up," Shikamaru growled back and shoved his tongue into Kakashi's mouth. They slid along the length of each other, sticky and slick at the same time, and incredibly sensual. This was Kakashi's turn to moan, lube-damp fingers pinching at a nipple in retribution.

Shikamaru could keep arguing like this for hours, but Kakashi was not in the mood for patience. Regretfully leaving that hot, pouty little mouth to breathe, he grasped both Shikamaru's legs, deciding on an optimum height.

"Kakashi...?"

Shikamaru was half pleading. Kakashi wouldn't have been able to stop if he wanted to.

"Just remember to breathe," he gasped, working on that particular subject himself.

"Kashi!"

He shuddered at the feeling, hot, taunt flesh surrounding his member, soft, soft flesh bunching under his hands.

He let it out in one breathy moan. "Oh, god, I love you..."

His eyes closed for a moment, savoring it, using all his willpower to keep from just _fucking_ that tight little ass...

Slowly, Shikamaru's breathing evened out, even if it was harshly fast and ragged, and the muscles slowly unwound. Hands pressed against his abdomen and then slid to his hips, pulling him closer, farther in.

"Kashi..."

It was a whimper he could not ignore, that sulky little look on his partner's face, as if to say "Is this all you've got?". As if to make his point, Shikamaru smirked a little and shifted his hips, fitting Kakashi in deeper, in just the right position.

"I've only screamed twice so far."

They were already in much too far to stop. Much too far in...

Suddenly jerking to motion, Kakashi let loose the pent-up frustrations of months spent slavering over this beautiful body.

It was... too much. Hitting the sweet spot over and over again, feeling that body arch up against him, fingers digging into his back. Shikamaru bit his shoulder when he felt Kakashi's hand on his dick - not a playful little nip either. Enough to make Kakashi hiss between his teeth and find it oddly, incredibly arousing.

"Oh, Kashi," Shikamaru moaned, hair splayed out over the pillow and the sexiest blush on his cheeks. "I'm going to come, I'm going to..."

"Me too," he gasped back, bending down to seize Shikamaru's mouth and press as much of their skin together as possible.

It was so much, this love, this pressure. How could he ever imagine himself worthy...

But Shikamaru was whimpering under his relentlessly pumping hand, writhing with the dual sensations at once. Finally, he could take it no more and cried out, arching upwards and spurting all over their stomachs.

Kakashi could take it no longer. Shikamaru had been the one to mark him as human again, to finalize his return to the real world from the surreal ANBU. If he loved him any more, his heart would burst. As it was, something else did.

"Oh... Shika."

He shuddered to a halt, pulling out and flopping on top of Shikamaru, still aching for physical touch despite the amazing climax he had just had.

"Mmm..." he nuzzled Shikamaru's neck lazily and relished the shiver of pleasure that went through that lithe form underneath him.

"I suppose you're going to say now that Genma was better," Shikamaru murmured cynically into Kakashi's wild silver hair.

"_Nothing_ is better than you," Kakashi said sharply, almost venomously, wrapping his arms around Shikamaru and fitting their legs around each other in preparation for sleep.

Shikamaru fell silent, staring at the ceiling.

"Did you mean it?" he said finally, Kakashi's breath warm and moist against his shoulder.

"Mean what?" Kakashi asked, placing a tender kiss on the already-cooling flesh.

"That you love me."

Kakashi's mismatched eyes widened. Had he really said that? Oh dear.

"Erm..."

Shikamaru turned to look at him and Kakashi buried a blushing face in Shikamaru's arm in a vain attempt to hide it.

"Well, yes, I guess..."

Shikamaru smirked, also doing a very poor job of hiding the glow in his heart expressing itself on his face.

They kissed softly, no tongue needed, Shikamaru reveling in the softness of silver hair. When they parted and rested their foreheads together, Shikamaru spent a moment studying both those eyes, the black on red and the blue flecked with yellow. Kakashi in his turn was watching beautiful chocolate eyes, just a shade darker than the hair framing them.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, smiling, running a few strands of black-brown hair through his fingers.

"Go to sleep, idiot," Shikamaru smirked, cuddling forward to rest his head on Kakashi's shoulder.

"Mmm," Kakashi reached down to pull some displaced sheets over them before resting his arm around Shikamaru's thin waist, holding him close.

This, this was worth cherishing. Not like his own first time, spent under multiple horny ANBU, joining in some twisted form of initiation ritual. But that was the way with ANBU - sex was just a way to vent frustration, pretend to be connected to someone without the emotional scars, and a way to get some good sleep afterwards.

He was glad he had saved Shikamaru from that messed up world. He was glad that he had someone to fall asleep with, who would be there in the morning. Shikamaru...

A shadow.

* * *

vanyelashke89, Sabriell, I'm thinking of reverting back to the perverted Kakashi soon enough. It is part of his personality, in my charectorization, but it's not the most important part of him. It is part facade. And I'm much better at angst and heavy romance than humor. Zenna, I'm trying to make sure they do. Eveilae, I think most of your questions are answered, and there shouldn't be any spelling mistakes in this one, even if they are negilable. 

**Red's Quick Guide to Roman Numerals**: I 1, V5, X10, C100, M1000; You minus the first number from the second if it is smaller than it, and add it if it's after the bigger number. Three is the most you can add on or take away. Ex. VI bigger first smaller second 5+16; IX smaller first bigger second10-19 (This is for mostly smaller numbers. Bigger ones are harder to figure out, but I doubt we're going to hit chapter CMVCIIV)

As always, comments are praised, but critique is saved for preusal and ADORED.


	10. X

I fully intended for this to be a more relaxed, funny chapter at first, but then I couldn't pull it off. And then I wrote more smut, and didn't like and was too lazy/uninspired to rewrite it, so now it's just short. I couldn't help but give Shikamaru this jitsu. Double post for the last two chapters!

* * *

**X**

**

* * *

**

He smelled of blood.

Kakashi didn't like that, not at all. He always felt that when someone smelt of blood they were somehow different people from the ones he saw every day. Perhaps he just assumed everyone else had the same ability to hide as he did.

When he smelt of blood, Kakashi was a different person.

His three summoned nin-dogs curled around him, masking the humanness of his scent with their own. The moon was hovering above him, one unblinking silvery eye. It was late, he was tired, and he still had one more sound-nin to kill.

Shikamaru floated into his thoughts as he tried to clear his mind for a dreamless sleep. He shoved the memory of comfortable arms away even as he yearned for it. He didn't want to taint t the memories of his lover by mixing them with ones of war. For as long as possible.

Sensing his agitation, one wet nosed pressed into his neck, a motherly reassurance.

He slept.

---

When he got home, Shikamaru was already there, with Kiba and Akimaru.

He headed straight for the bathroom and shut the door behind him as he heard the dogs bark and snuffle in greeting.

Kiba made a few growled remarks about ungrateful assholes to Shikamaru, who only shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

Kiba left, taking a hint, and the dogs went and fell asleep on the couch, exhausted after a long mission, leaving Shikamaru to fret with his hands until the bathroom door clicked open and he was on his feet, clawing at silver hair and appropriating Kakashi's breath.

The sight of Kakashi completely naked, still damp with steamy water, was enough to arouse all the desire in Shikamaru from the past week and send it straight to his loins. As their tongues struggled for dominance, Kakashi soon had all his clothes off too.

His hands seem to move on their own, sliding over firm skin, pulling them closer together, shuddering as their cocks slid against each other. It was always closer, closer, closer that they wanted to be together. At one point it had been enough just to kiss; now not all the sex in the world could satisfy them for long.

---

"Missed you," Shikamaru mumbled into his ear and gave his rough cheek a scratchy kiss.

"Mmm," Kakashi mumbled in a comfortable accent, trying to pull the sheets up with his toes from the bottom of the bed.

After watching him fruitlessly struggle for a few minutes, Shikamaru's shadow reached down and pulled them up itself over their hips. Kakashi raised his eyebrows as he rolled onto his back so Shikamaru could snuggle into his side.

"So I see you finished that technique."

"It's not perfect, but it doesn't need a lot of chakra after the original infusement."

"Similar to the summoning technique, you mean?" Kakashi said sleepily.

"Yeah," Shikamaru yawned. "If you hadn't helped me I would never have gotten it."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," Kakashi said mildly, dozing off.

"Neither do you," Shikamaru said quietly, pressing a kiss to that cheek again.

They fell asleep.

* * *

So, in blatant disregard of the new guidelines that I never follow anyways I'm going to thank all of my readers personally, because they deserve it. Thank yous for reviews to chapter nine go out to Pickle-kitten, Eveilae, Sabriell, vanyalashkie89, and ruka-kun. nod 

Review me again, or skip on to the final chapter!


	11. XI

It's even shorter. I owe you a bonus chapter, ne? I felt myself loosing this fic, so I needed desperately to cap it off before school starts and I get even more hectic. I need to be able to write chaptered fics and finish them, right?

* * *

**XI**

* * *

They're eating ramen at the usual stand, together. They'll end up doing a battle over the cheque, but for now it's just a comfortable silence, legs brushing together under the small corner table. Kakashi is done his and starts eyeing Shikamaru's, who just glares at him, _daring_ him to try and steal some of his food like a starved dog. Kakashi makes the comparison gleefully, setting his prodigious imagination to imagining Shikamaru as such an animal.

The usual scramble for the bill is made and then they're walking back to the apartment, slouching along with hands in pockets and eyes on altertively the ground, each other, or the sky.

The dogs bark joyfully at the sound of Kakashi fumbling with the keys in the lock as Shikamaru leans on the guardrail surrounding the landing. The highly intelligent dogs nudge each other out of the way in order to get out the door and swarm around them, each of them rivaling the others to tell their story first in their own special language.

Shikamaru has gotten used to having them around, the hair on everything, the ones that like to sleep at the foot of the beds and the ones that are relegated to the floor and sofa. Some stay wherever they're summoned from, but there are usually at least five in the apartment at any given time. Certainly, it's a tight squeeze, and expensive to feed, but they generally take care of themselves. Like Kakashi.

As they flick on the lights and pass through the rooms to ready for a welcome sleep the rooms are comfortingly familiar, shadows in the corners and furniture in worn spaces. Various weapons and scrolls and books clutter the kitchen table and some of the floor, there is a ninja-sized dummy leaning against the walls, there are even photos on one of the shelves in the bedroom.

Photos of them together, of all the dogs assembled, of Kakashi's teams and Shikamaru's, of the Jounin all together, of Shikamaru's parents and him as a child.

They have found that they like sharing memories.

* * *

Perhaps I'll see you in the future? 

Review me!


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